Archive for the ‘friends’ Tag

About to Break

Friday, February 15th, 2013

I know we all reach that point every once in while, where everything anyone says gets on your very last nerve. Unfortunately, those closest to you seem to get the¬†wrath of your anger more than anyone else. It’s like all the nit-picky little things you don’t seem to like about a person annoy you ten times more when you’re reaching your breaking point. I’m about there. I just snapped at a friend when he tried to tell me “how I feel.” I’m pretty sure he doesn’t actually know. But this is nothing new, he does this all the time. It just seems in the past week, a lot of things have happened that have pushed me to the edge, and those stupid little things my friends do to annoy me have me on me wavering between complete explosion and a surreal lifestyle. This is when I become thankful for the long weekend coming up. I need to get away from everyone. My boyfriend included. But I need him right now too, so I don’t know how that could even be possible. Life is too complicated to comprehend right now. I’m sorry for the complaining.

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Come back, please.

Monday, January 21st, 2013

R*****, I still can’t believe you’re gone. It doesn’t feel real. Even after I read the article in the paper today, I still can’t come to sense with the fact that you’re not alive anymore. Everyone says it will hit me tomorrow in school. They’re probably right. But what if it doesn’t? What if I remain numb? Then again, this whole situation has been centered around what ifs. I just wish someone could have helped you. You had the brightest future in front of you and now I can’t even come to sense with the fact that you hung yourself. Every time I try to picture you alive, well, and happy, I picture you hanging in your bathroom instead. It’s awful and I can’t get it out of me head. R*****, I know you’re sorry, I know you are, I am too, I just wish I could have told you. I wish you could have told me. I wish I would have told you how special you are before you left. Though, I know if we would have made up, we would never talk like we used to. I just wish I could hear you tell me that I’m beautiful, or watch your face awkwardly light up as I pass your locker in the morning yelling “Perkisaur!”, just to make you smile. That luminous, absolutely beautiful smile. You were so haunted. I still can’t believe you’re gone. Come back, please. We need you.¬†